The Transformation That Turned Me Into a Priestess; How Losing 85lbs Was Really An Inside Job

Friday morning, March 28th, I stepped on the scale and recorded my weight lower than when I got pregnant with my son 35 years ago. For the FIRST time since. I remember my weight that day, because it was what propelled me to go to Weight Watchers with my mom for the first time. I was 20 years old. When I was 18, I was 25lbs lighter but I was heavier than most of the other girls on my high school dance team. I wore size 3 most of the time, sometimes a 0 and sometimes a 5. That would have made me around 125lbs at that time. I was skin and bones. No one told me.

Kristin and baby #2 - 1997, 180lb ish pounds

After baby number 2, I weighed probably around 180 pounds here. About the happiest I have been in my life, until now.

From there, the scales went up and down. When I delivered my son, I weighed 176 lbs, I ONLY gained 20. The weight went down pretty quickly after he was born, and then it started creeping back up again. I got pregnant with my daughter when I weighed around 176 pounds and gained 25 with that pregnancy. I was over 200 pounds and I could not wrap my head around it. The number. I eventually got up to 248 pounds at the highest.

When I was in high school, I was on the dance team all 4 years. It was a three season activity, read: SPORT, so I was continually active. We did ballet during practice, so my muscle tone was incredible, and I was probably a hot calorie burning furnace at all times. I ate CRAP most of the time, I drank soda pop most of the time, and I was skinny. I was putting things in my body that tasted good, the scale didn’t give me the answers I wanted. My dad made us healthier meals, but he was able to eat a shit ton of food in a very short amount of time. He was 6 feet tall and 165 pounds.

For reference, I am 5 feet 4 inches tall. At some point, I had a real body composition measurement when I joined a gym. It was after my daughter was born, so I was likely over 200 pounds by that time. What I learned is that my body, with ZERO fat weighs 100 lbs. If anyone puts my height and weight into a BMI calculator, it does not reflect that. BMI calculators (Body Mass Index) do not ever take into consideration the individual’s actual physical make up. I have dense, very large bones. I cannot even wrap my fingers around my own wrist, and I have very broad shoulders for a woman.

Kristin - 2013

This was towards the upper end of the weight range for me. I was on vacation, and I remember I was so excited because I had just weighed myself and I was losing weight. ON VACATION. Dieting, obviously - note the water bottle that I added something to so I would be more likely to drink it! I think I still probably overate.

I was technically morbidly obese for many, many years. Simple change, right? Eat less, move more. So, I had gym memberships, went on every diet ever published, unless it meant eating just cabbage soup. Because, I like to eat, and cabbage soup is anything but satisfying to me. I ate more salads, vegetables, lean meat, I enjoy ALL of that. I learned proper serving sizes, tracked my meals, and weighed and measured. Eating became a chore, or I accepted serving sizes above the recommended and I learned somewhere along my journey that food couldn’t be wasted.

Kristin 2013 - Crossfit, highest weight

I have no clue who these people are, they aren’t part of my tribe, but I bet someone in my tribe would recognize them. I wonder if these people are still doing Crossfit? I really wanted to love it and I saw my tribe transforming with it.

So, May 18th (Mt St Helen’s Day here in the Northwest), 2018 I had weight loss surgery. I went to Tijuana Mexico, paid $4500 and had Gastric Sleeve surgery, including hotel stay and medications. The reactions from my friends and family before surgery were all over the place. “You aren’t obese” “Why would you do that to yourself?” “Isn’t that risky going to Mexico?” “Isn’t that the easy way?” “Isn’t that the hard way?” “Just eat less and move more” I have wonderful friends, and it wasn’t that they were not being supportive, in fact the ones that were most supportive were the ones that were most afraid for me, they encouraged me to tell my story of why and they conceded that I knew what was best for me. I was right.

I didn’t tell a lot of people. Obviously, the people that would see me on a regular basis, which was now a lot less because I had changed careers from a large corporate location, to my own business where I mostly worked from home. I certainly didn’t tell anyone that wanted to debate it with me, and I didn’t post about it on social media. I knew what I needed to do, and I was no longer open to hearing what other people thought I should do about my weight and my body.

What was on the outside, what I saw in the mirror was not who I felt I was. My physical body was preventing me from doing things I love, dancing, hiking, exploring rivers and streams by foot in search of elusive fish, and I mortified myself by flipping a kayak in the ocean and had to be pulled up. Not receiving the receiving help part, that was needed so I wouldn’t drown, but because I was so heavy I couldn’t right myself and it took more effort for someone else to lift me up. It’s a good thing I didn’t have to ask for help, because I would have probably drown.

So, here I am today, the same weight I was at age 20, 36 years later. My body is not necessarily healthier, and it is definitely different, but my brain and spirit are unquestionably healthier in a million little ways. What losing weight did for my confidence, my strength, my stamina, my passion, my energy, and my faith has got me to this very moment in time. For a reason, and the reason is you. I am happier than I have been in my entire life, I am dancing all the time, I am making magic when ever I want to, where ever I want to, and with whomever I chose.

Kristin Summer 2024 - 160 lbs.

Creed reunited after 13 years, which was a miracle in of itself, so I was all in. Then they started adding to the lineup and it just got better. I had NO IDEA how I was going to make that happen; finances, limited tickets, obstacles. I said yes to it, I gave it to the Universe, it happened, and it’s about to happen again. Once in a lifetime, sometimes isn’t.

Our journeys may just be converging now, or perhaps we have been sharing journeys our entire lives, and there is a reason for that, too. From today forward, I am only on this journey with souls that are in alignment with mine. My soul is in alignment with souls who voted differently than I, my soul is in alignment with souls that worship differently than I, my soul is in alignment with souls that love other souls I do not, my soul is in alignment with souls that nourish themselves in ways mine can’t be nourished, my soul is aligned only with souls that I can be authentic with. Some of my tribe even got here because we loved the same person at the same time, for different reasons, and that soul doesn’t remain on both of our journeys, and that is welcome here, too. My tribe is made up of fucking incredible human beings, for a million different reasons, our tribe believes in love. That’s it. Love. Well, and magic.

My tribe is continually changing, and I welcome that. The ones that leave my tribe do so because of their own words and actions, sometimes leaving really big spaces that have been occupied for a really long time, and that’s ok too because that means there is room for really, really special souls. You see me and my value in this world, and I see yours. I may never be able to express to you what your value is to me, because there aren’t words, and words are my super power. But, I hope you know and that is why you are here, because together is how the magic really happens. Words are just words without actions, and sometimes the actions become before the words and sometimes long after. If you are here virtually, early after my rebirthday, and we’ve never met, then I expect we will be meeting before too long. Former tribe members may reapply for consideration at any time.

Welcome to my journey, however and wherever our timelines met up. If you are in my tribe, I am so very grateful. My tribe makes me stronger, we all make each other stronger, and sometimes it’s so easy we don’t even know we are doing it. That is magic. Don’t believe in magic? Oh wait, those people aren’t reading this anyway! Welcome to my tribe, I am so so very grateful for you, I couldn’t have done this without you, and it’s just the beginning. It’s GO TIME! It’s why I’m here, it’s my soul’s purpose. I am a PRIESTESS, and that still is just so hard for me to even type, but I know you know, because you are my tribe. Thank you!