I haven’t watched this since I recorded it only ever for Ryan’s eyes WAY back on March 20th, 2025. Um that wasn’t even three months ago - tell me this is NOT MAGIC, go! He never got to see this and even mentioned wishing he had when we were saying good bye in Spokane 5/14/25.

This was before the cruise now 2 months ago (see FB post from the last night, which was a new moon by the way 13th of April) and before I drove right to him on May 14th, 2025, a MONTH ago yesterday. All things considered, I’ve been having really hard time believing this is REAL, and although I am the only one that needs to believe it, I am struggling hard with keeping my vibe up while the world is pretty much on fire, all while my muggle life is also burning down. But, everyone that I have shared the MAGIC of May 14th with, including a friend that remembers us back then, keep asking questions like “isn’t he married?” (technically so am I) or saying things like “here’s a link to an article about obsession” or “well there’s a lot to think about”. NO - pay attention, the deal was that we would be able to stand face to face and look each other in the eye and say “nope” and walk away. We couldn’t DO IT. But, the real magic is this video - how I was struggling with all of it, and how I was being so careful about what I was saying, AND so raw and authentic. AND what the actual fuck was wrong with my husband? What say you? I just needed a little validation - it’s a new world just waiting for me and I keep FORGETTING? Oh yah, because I’m processing the fact that I am the victim of long term domestic abuse, which was not even on the agenda when I went to Spokane to urgently and specifically find Ryan, because my intuition woke me up the day before saying I had to rescue him!